Spent the whole of sat with him..

Just that, there's this topic in the conversations that makes me dwell further now.

A random question, What will you do i bitch-slap your ex for being so mean to you?
(i have no idea why i asked that too, like i said, its just something that popped into my head and i vomitted it out)

his answer was to stand between the both of us and stopped me from slapping her. Cos she has a pride too, and that shes really a nice girl. and he said she might like to keep wadeva that happened him and her private and over.

Well.

i feel like a petty dumb jealous violent bitch for asking that question.

And, i hate feeling that way about myself. Ugh.
(what's happening to me?!)


Man, although i would kill myself before i say it out, but.
* ** **** * *** ****** ** ******

as in he could actually hang around for the 2 whole YEARS.
for her.
goodness.
wow.

its always liddat.
Rage. Sadness. Nonchalance

Why am i so bugged by it?

The more i think about it, the more miserable i felt.
And the misery could just conjure a tornado in my tummy.
A choking feeling.

:(


MIND always branches out like a wild fire in the plains and burn everythin to the ground.
Darkened it to soot.

And, the most funny thing is, he didnt do anything wrong.

Sometimes, my heart really goes out to dudes. For being clueless about everything that goes through their girls' heads. Not knowing wad to do, till the missle struck.

*shake head shake head*

And, honestly, there's nothing he could do to make me feel better either.
Or at least, nothing that i myself know of.

Maybe Jade's right, sometimes, people could sabotage their own stable. happy relationships by thinking too much.

But. How NOT to think too much?

I'm making myself confused again.
Tunnelling down a quicksand.
Plain dumb way to end.

Not that i will want it to end.

And, i think we are about to proceed to a new milestone in the relationship.
(No, its nothing physical. :P hahhahha)
i told him to Save it till we meet face to face.
Which is like in 11 days time.

He really makes me really happy. settled.
Bringing out the genteel side of me that i kept under wraps.

Even tho he sucks big time at consolding others, (when i got my uni application results), hearing his cheery voice uplifts my spirits. :)

Hes the first one that came to my mind when i feel that i need someone to discuss something with. May it significant or trivial matters.

Trust.
Communication.
Understanding (in progress)
Romance.
(Passion)

I feel like both of us are picking up little bricks and building a foundation for something bigger and durable.

With the core being Communication.
Something that i feel is the most important factor of a loving relationship.
Observing the different relationships among the people around me, absence of healthy communication just erodes the connection.

And, honesty of course.
Telling each other anything that comes to our minds..
I will always rather having everything out in the open (may it painful or undesirable) trashing everything out to sort it proper and clean.
Glad thing he thinks the same too.

Building Understanding through Communication.
(i sound like a corny brochure for corporate networking)