L word

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Lifted it from Jade's blog: http://maraschino.spaces.live.com
Thanks Jade!

Guess when one feels the love, there are subtle changes to the defensive wraps which one barricades the world against. It starts to peel off one by one. Metamorphosis. Emergence of a new entity which is similar on the inside but yet so different on the surface. The beauty of it beholded only by the eyes of your lover. Bringing out the best in a person. Or perhaps, supporting each other to become a better person.


Hmm, Another analogy.

Love is like a bridge, connecting 2 different universes into 1 single entity.
Which reminds of a scene at POTC last night where James told Elizabeth that their fates were once interwined but never joined. And then he died while giving her a chance to live. I believe that Love is what makes you willing to die protecting the person rather than live watching the person die.


Next,

"How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"
~Albert Einstein

The intellectual is always showing off,

the lover is always getting lost.

The intellectual runs away.

afraid of drowning;

the whole business of love

is to drown in the sea.

Intellectuals plan their repose;

lovers are ashamed to rest.

The lover is always alone.

even surrounded by people;

like water and oil, he remains apart.

The man who goes to the trouble

of giving advice to a lover get nothing.

He's mocked by passion.

Love is like musk. It attracts attention.

Love is a tree, and the lovers are its shade.

~

Jalaluddin Rumi~

Something to engage your brain and heart, my darlings. Just like a piece of fine dark choc. Savouring the taste of something good in your mouth, whilst endorphins soothes your mind and your heart swooning at the pleasure of it all. With the orgamsic flavours bursting through your body, wrecking it senseless. Love.


29 is a special number. And this entry shall hereby be dedicated to our special number. Learning about the L word. Together.

Wkend Update

One word. Satisfying Drained. Fine, thats 2 words.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Popped by his house on Sat. Hmm, must remind myself to dress more "dressy" the next time. Guess shorts is a no-no for visiting his folks. *gulps.

Guess im pretty afraid of what impression im creating to his folks. Thats why im so darned stressed at the thought of going his house. Uneasy. Even though his folks are real nice people. But, still cant wipe off the shudders.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Spent the whole day at Vivo on Sun.
[ :) Nice white lily, Sexy. Your taste gets better each time.]

The view of Sentosa from Vivo's deck is enchantingly beautiful. Stark white clouds against a piercing blue sky. Guess the world lits up when ya happily in love. :)

(Man, i hope one cant run out of bliss. Cos i feel so much so that i feel guilty. its a queer feeling.)
Then again, im a worrywart.

Ooh, do try New York Pizza at Habour Front Centre. The big triangle is REALLY big. Dont get the one with ham on it. Its so hard that it can double as a javelin. We had the New York and Brooklyn. Cant differentiate which is which. Just dont get the one with ham. The other is pretty fine. The set meal comes with a chicken wing as well, choice of Spicy, BBQ or fried. He said its pretty nice. OOh, saying about chicken wings. Do try the one at Marina Loft. Its a stall that sells a great selection of tom yum soup. The chicken winglets are nicely fried and marinated. Darkly Crisped with a tinge of spice. Eat it with the sweet and sour thai chilli and pineapple rice. With a side of tom yum soup. Satisfying meal.

Marina Loft is actually a great place to bring your foreign friends for a good tuck in of local food. So far the 2 stalls i tried are Thumbs' Up! (The pasta stall next to it serves nice creamy pasta) Too bad Samy's curry seems to be undergoing renovation or moved out or i simply cant find that place. Man, i wanna try for myself the fiery power of Samy's curry. with an advised warning of not wearing white tops while eating.

Ooh, here am i talking non-stop about food again. :P
By the way people, HungryGoWhere.com and the Food Advisor of Streetdirectory.com have fabulous food reviews that provide endless hours entertainment and food fantasy.

No wonder my mom always cautioned me about turning into one big ball after im married. (ok, too far down the road. Shudders to think about it.) Cos i jus love my food. TOO much. in fact.
Hay, its genetic. My dad loves his food too! Just say hello to Mr-5mth-Food-Baby that my dad carries around his waist. I been trained to take all sorts of curry and

Luckily i love my kayaking, beaching, morning runs as well.

Better keep my crunches. squats and dumb bell with me at all times.

before i turn myself OFF when i look into the mirror.

*shivers*

Learning Pointers. _Ways of Life

Hopefully i will be able to put all these pointers to practice.

Roles of Suborinates and Superiors

1. Know where one stands.
2. When in doubt (and you have to ask your superior):

A) If you have absolutely no idea on what to say/ answer, dont say or "I have thought through, but im unsure on it."

B) If you have a glimpse of idea, project it in a "Why not...we try...how about this?"--> Suggest Respect.
not a condescending tone nor demanding direction: "HOW? What to do now? Tell me?"
[Note Point 1]

C) Think before you say.

D) Be clear of one's objectives.

Even though it's good to be unyielding when it comes to clarity of doubt, dont challenge one's superior. Who's the one giving the pay cheque?

Interesting Bites of Love---Reviews.

Take a look at this,
http://gailsaltz.ivillage.com/health/2006/12/love_love_love.html

Title: "Love, Love, Love" --By Dr Gail Saltz


Little Bites:

- Staying in a loving relationship has to do with more than feeling swept up in love — it has to do with choosing to make love work.

- the new feelings of “in love” have a lot to do with newness and lust.
"In love” often means that you have this new person idealized — they can do no wrong, they seem perfect and you can't get enough. But that is both the newness — you not having time to see their faults (which everyone has) — and the nuerochemical dopamine being released and keeping you dopped up for a while.
So i guess this is where LoveSick comes about..

-Loving is a decision to commit, to compromise, to give to the other, to care about their needs, sometimes to sacrifice and to enjoy them for who they are.



And this,
http://love.ivillage.com/lnm/lnmgetcloser/0,,bmxq58mm,00.html

Title: Hot Monogamy--By Ex Playboy Bunnies. --> interesting insights here.


Little Bites:

-Maintain a long-term relationship is a privilege and a responsibility.

The rest of the articles are tips to get the flame fired up again. Just some entertaining reads to wile time away.

For my darling Babes who are reading this, please bear with my neurochemical dopamine release. :P The L word is making me giddy and ditzy. Ooh, btw, the first website is a blog by a psychologist with insights on Racism, Viriginia Tech massacre, Social Perfectionism and Jealously.Very educational.

TO Do List

Shopping List:

1. Apple Ipod--$248(-$100 MS)
2. Denim skirt that wont make me look ridiculous in
3. Cobalt Blue Top (s)
4. Other Blue Top (s)
5. White Top (s) 1 down-baby doll top [MS]
6. Shades that wont make me look like a tai tai. Maybe something sporty
7. Off shoulder top (s) 1 down-spanish white ($27)
8. A Sundress/ LWD/ Dress
9. Contacts x2 ---approx $117 [MS]
10. Shoes

Budget: $120 (excluding item no. 1 & 9)
Total Expense Projection: $120 + $ 148= $268



Things to do in the coming 6 weeks.

1. Chalet @ Sentosa. Maybe will have it in end June or July. ~$150
2. Swimming Lessons
3. Read up on Sociology. Political Science
4. Gymming. Morning Runs.
5. Go Learn skating to train my glutes and quads. Perky Butt, Here i come!!!
6. Kayaking!! Miss riding the waves!

Hopefully i wont succumb to lazybones and became a fat dumb bum after 6weeks. gosh.
Tone up. Brush Up. For College~~~~~ Yay!!!


Read of the Day: Truly Mars & Venus By John Gray. Ph.D

Staying present keeps us in the moment which is where life is. Life does not exist in future predictions or past grievances; all we have for sure is right here and right now.

Every moment teaches us something, and if we are busily trying to change or control something we miss the grace intended for us. By allowing the sacred mystery to unfold without trying to tamper with it, we can move through anything with much more ease and simplicity.

And by the same token, when we are completely alert and aware in any given moment, we are open to the subtle miracles happening all around us. By staying present, we will see our partner for who they are; we will hear clearly their communication and respond to it astutely.


Seeing your partner through the lens of love rather than fear automatically elevates the relationship to a higher plane. When you can get quiet and note when you are projecting fear, you can make the adjustment to see through a different filter. So often we feel indignant or incensed, but upon closer inspection we will find that we are really afraid. Once we assume our partner's core goodness rather than focusing on their "guilt," they will be more free to show us their best, which accelerates the process of shifting our perspective from one of blame and anxiety to one of acceptance and peace.


Honoring your partner's path and allow them the space to find their own way sends a clear message of respect.

People need to work things out in their own manner and in their own time. If you try to help where help is not requested, you are signaling your lack of belief in your partner.

If you back off and assume someone is strong and intelligent, strength and intelligence are what they will likely find.

Although we are all on this path of realization and expansion together, each of us is unique in our lessons to be learned; the way you do something might be totally different than how someone else needs to process a situation. Rest assured that Spirit is at work in all of our lives, and give yourself a rest from overseeing your partner's personal business.

Seeing in the dynamic of the relationship the reflection of what you need to learn helps bring you back to what is important. Sometimes we get lost in the chatter of day-to-day patterns and lose sight of the soul's mandate to bring us closer to realizing our Oneness.

The best way to see where we need to work on things is to observe who we are and what we do within the context of a relationship. Any time you recognize your impulse to create distance rather than intimacy, you can make the adjustment and get back on track.

This relationship, as with all relationships, is part of a curriculum to evolve into our highest potential. We come to know ourselves by how we interact with our partner, and by so doing we come to know Spirit.


Keeping up your personal growth work means you will keep your mind sharp and your awareness keen.Read, study, and attend lectures; don't rest on the laurels of what you think you already know. The moment we think we have it all figured out is the moment things will come crashing down around us.

Arrogance leaves no room for intimacy or growth, and is certainly not part of a spiritual curriculum. When you immerse yourself in learning, you will always have new skills and interests to apply to a relationship, and thus the relationship will always feel fresh and relevant.



Being grateful for what you have zeros in on what is working, which in turn magnetizes more of the same. Where you put your focus is where you direct your creative intention; so if you want abundance, be grateful for the vitality you have now. If you want a soulful relationship, be grateful for the soulful moments.

Gratitude is like a seed you plant; it grows more as it is watered and nourished. Show your partner what you appreciate in them and let them know that they have a positive effect in your life. The acknowledgement of good will call forth more of the same.


Relaxing when times get tough; assuming that "this too shall pass" allows you to roll with the punches. If you know things will inevitably arise to challenge you, you can be more detached when they do. Problems become worse when we dig in our heels and try to force a solution.

By relaxing into whatever struggle arises, we remain flexible and open to inspiration and insight.Even if you have a hard time letting go, you can at least observe yourself taking things very seriously, which in itself helps to detach you from the experience of anxiety. Whatever is happening now won't be happening a year from now, so just keep breathing through the situation and see if you can take things a little less seriously.

-quoted from Oprah.com.

Short But Very Sweet Weekend

Fri Night @ Anatonlia's
Jade's Birthday!!!
-Jade. Squish. Mich. Nab. MaoMao.-

The fellowship of our Ya-ya Sistahood congregated at this little corner off Far East Plaza. Man, just so goood to see everyone (almost, 6 outta 7 is good enough) together again. Had a jolly girlish time together catching up and talking crap, over a Turkish spread of kebabs, Iskander, Mumenche and salty yogurt drinks (we pass it round like a dare). Acting like little brats at the shops, which actually pissed our Motherhen-Nab. A bit of hissy fits and nails branishing over there. (ok ok, i exaggerate for the effect. we are a bunch of sweet. innocent. feminine faeries. SO NOT. ) Just hope that our dear Jade had a great time for her birthday dinner.
Happy 19th Birthday, Jade Mandingo Gu-Niang Poh Hu Heang Min. (Man, your name just gets longer each year, doesnt it? And, it comes in all sorts of permutations as well. goodness)


Sat Afternoon @ CityLink Gelare
Gang Reunion!
-Yve. Zoey. Sharhana. Sharin. Wens. Spidey-

Man, for once, theres a great turnout of 7!!! The poor boys sound so depressed for being outta touch with the world. Spidey became more trim. And Wens still look the same to me. Sharin actually looks more goody with his head shaved. Clean-cut look. One thing i learnt from a reunion with a bunch of NS dudes is that, DONT PUT them together. They gel together like glue and talk incessantly about their NS lives with unknown lingo. It is like tuning to a foregin radio channel with the "OFF" button malfunctioning. Totally understandable though. Given that they have endured a whole bunch of nonsense over nothing. Quoting Yve, "Over peanuts"
Zoey is working at a childcare centre, with hilarious tales about those kids. Including one boy who convincingly believed that his grandfather is a monkey. And when asked about the absence of tails, he replied: "He got it removed in surgery." goodness.
Yve has 8 "children", her tuition kids. Woah, who would have expected our spunky beauty is actually an aspiring educator? :D She will be leaving for New York to further her studies. Going out in end june or mid july. And, we wont be able to see each other for 4 years.

Funny how much you miss your JC mates after you leave JC?
Why do people always miss what they gonna lose soon? Isnt it too late? I honestly confess that i hated my JC life. So much so that i will squirm and play hooky at every opportunity.
And during then, I always have this idea that the friendships that we built during JC, aint that strong and deep as those built in Sec sch. But now, come to think of it, its not about the strength nor depth of friendships. These friendships are just built in different ways. These people may or may not be as close to you as you will want them to be. However, it doesnt make them less important to you. Simply put, every friendship is different and there is simply no means of comparison.

Sat Evening @ East Coast

So Proud and happy of myself that i actually took a train all the way to Pasir Ris to meet him! (hay, give me some credit, for living up the role of a girlfriend. :P Moi has never done this kinda things before.) Really feel that im putting more and more of myself into this relationship. It's so heartwarming to share a similar feeling with someone. But sometimes, i cant help but to have inhibitions and a nagging worry about the future. (my own insecurity that only i myself can work it out?) Just so scared of what if it didnt work out. I fear that i may actually break into little pieces if it ends. (Shuddup RueyJing, think about the Present) Man, sometimes i just wanna give myself a sharp kick at the ass for attempting to mess such a lovely precious thing up. Maybe, i should really kick myself.
It just makes me smile to myself as i recall about the wonderful times i had. Too bad ECP resembles a family day event on a sat night. BBQ everywhere and huge crowds of families scattered over the span of the park. Really, you cant help but to wonder if they evacuate a whole HDB community to ECP.
Walks by the shoreline under the moonlight, sitting at the breakwater, looking at the twinkling lights of the ships at the horizon. With stars scattered over the dark purple sky.
Man, this is Romantic. With a capital R.


Sun Morning @ city.

Went for breakfast with him at Beach Road. Someone stole his army pants. Goodness. Stocked up on some army supplies. Funny how i actually enjoyed doing mundane things together with him. Even if its like combing Marina Square for a cardholder. Caught "Blades of Glory", over Ben n Jerry's Cookie Dough and Berry Nice & a cup of Sweet Corn.

The weekend passed in a flash. But leaving a trail of honey for me to reminisce till the next. :)

Grindhouse

Not gonna miss this. 21st june.

http://www.grindhousemovie.net/

Have fun playing the trailer, darlings.

Love this article. hiak.

http://sexonmydesk.ivillage.com/love/2007/05/bad_boys_bad_boys.html

Movie with Colleagues

Had a nice time mingling with my colleagues last night. Organised a movie outing with Nic. Shane and Doreen. :) the youngsters. Guess we were all suffering from cases of AfterWork Sillyness. Cracking up over silly little things like making a wrong turn to the toilets, drinking the wrong drink. Squashed BK burgers which we smuggled into the theatres we didnt have enough time to actually have dinner. (and the old man needs to have some food) All silly little things that only seem funny to the protanganists and only at that particular point of time and company. :D

As for the show itself, i would say that it is not a disappointment. It kept me at the edge of my seat for the full length. Self-branded movie critics (me and nic) reached a consensus that the movie is very well-paced. (as compared to The Hills Have Eyes 2) Appropriate scares every now and then. Which made Doreen snuggled back into her seat. :P (im not a girl, i moved towards the screen instead of back at those parts.) Simply love the THRILL!!!! hiak, but i have my turquoise pashmina at cheeklevel. (just in case..)
It keeps my heart pumping in adrenaline even when i reached home. BRAVO!
The scariest (or most thrilling) part is at the beginning. When the leads were attacked by the Infected. Woah! Just jolt you awake, man!

The only big disappointment is the presence of shakey cameras when something BIG is happening. Its like a half-baked scare. Warm you up nicely but not properly cooked.

Sigh..gonna be outta work from 15june

Man, i hate the prospect of unemployment, starting june15. Contract wont be extended cos they are getting a new senior staff instead of a temp.

Sigh. Man, i totally adore this job!! 6 weeks before school starts in August. Goodness, wad am i gonna do for this 6weeks?!



Hiak, but the prospect of staying at a chalet for 5D4N with pals brightens me up instantly!!

The Chronicles of Follicles

Beach Blond!

beach-blond highlighting technique.

“For the color to work, I need at least six months of uncolored roots,” explains Josh, the man behind model Gisele Bündchen’s bleached waves.

DURING

Josh first back-combed Julia’s hair and then, starting several inches from her scalp and continuing to the ends, he painted individual pieces with bleach—a technique known as balayage. Once all the hair was treated, he blow-dried certain sections to speed up the processing, making those pieces blonder.

Red Hair!

Below the shoulder; layered throughout for volume

The simple cut enhances the intensity of Cross’s red hair. “Longer layers create a greater surface area from which light can be reflected,” explains New York City stylist Nathaniel Hawkins, who has worked with Cross.

Whether he’s styling her hair straight or curly, Hawkins starts by blow-drying it using a vent brush to increase volume. He finishes with a dab of Tresemmé Hydrology pomade (to eliminate flyaways.

The HairStyle i want. (If i have the paitence to grow out my hair)

Shampoo and condition your hair like usual and then towel dry. Brush hair, set your part, and work a small palm-full of volumizing mousse like Kerastase Mousse Volumactive from the roots to the ends.

Blow dry your hair straight so that the cuticles are nice and smooth.

Next, section your hair into about eight even parts and secure them with hair clips.

Beginning with undermost layers, take a large barreled curling iron (about 1-1/4-inch) and set it on medium to low heat. Don't open the curling iron — you will get frayed and harsh ends — but instead, wrap your section of hair around the barrel and let it sit for about seven seconds.

Repeat this for each section.

When you are finished, you will be left with ringlets. You'll be temped to brush your hair out, but don't! Instead, flip your head over, shake out your hair, flip it back, and gently finger the curls to relax them into waves.

Reset your part gently and then use a light- to medium-hold hairspray to set your hair. If you have bangs, your can brush them lightly to one side so that they blend into the waves, and then spray that area a little bit more heavily than the rest of your hair.

Wkend Update

Spent the whole weekend at home, helping out at the shop. Actually, it more of spending time, catching up with my folks. Guess they are getting old and cranky, and the only thing i could do to alleviate the cranked-up hormones and flaring tempers, is to relieve some of their loads. Even if its just a little bit.

And the best way to catch up is to find time to talk to them one by one. More effective communication. :)

Hiak, and my folks' idea of a nice family treat is KFC home delivery. Sitting in front of the tv, watching the Eye 2. Ended up im the only one who stayed awake through the whole show. The 2 darlings creeped back to their room to sleep.


Hope that 6D5N is over today.
1 more hour to knock off.
I'm already planning for Saturday!

Hmmm...Holland V. Roof 211. Foster's English Rose Cafe. Samy's Curry.
Gotta pamper that boy up.

Spidey was complaining about the dismal state of field camp rations to me.
Dino mentioned that theres a lot of mozzie bites.
But Arshad said that field camp was alright.
(He, Sharin and Zakee are in the same company!)

Gang Reunion this sat~

get/'>http://sexy.namedecoder.com">Get Your Sexy Name

Hope Next Friday will come sooner.

Not really feeling the thrill of TGIF... Man, im not looking forward to spend the whole weekend at home. and the tv is spoilt. Goodness.

At least someone will be happy that im at home.

Mother's Day weekend.

It's pretty tough to keep my moods uplifted.



Man, i need a shot of endorphin.
Gonna climb outta my bed for a morning run tomorrow, if i still wanna retain my sanity.


This month's oestrogen is working 2 weeks in advance.

Moody. Moody. Moody.

Im suffering from Friday Blues....

Its always like this: Misery---Rage---Nonchalance.
Im at the Rage stage now.
Turning hormonal. Had a bitch squabble with Mom early in the morning. Over an EZ-link card.
She was asking why i argue until "face green green".

How am I to know?
Guess i felt rather empty when i woke up today. My biological clock is attuned to waking up at 4smth or 6smth to reach out for my hp. Felt so damn disappointed when i realised my inbox is empty. Goodness, i hate the state of me now. I seriously do. Im afraid that i will hate it so much that i just throw in the towel. Giving it all up. which is a damn brainless thing to do. No perserverance. (im not known for my perserverance anyway...)

I MUST SNAP OUT OF IT.

Must be the hormones. I must rein them in.
I have no idea what exactly am i angry about?!

--For your eyes only (to you-know-who-yourself)--

If the roles were to reverse, i will most prob feel the same way as you do. The deliberate act of doing something that you might not like, is not meant to hurt you. And, that will be something that i will never wanna do. (at least, consciously)

If this helps, please be assured that my heart is claimed. (oh yes, im SURE this time round.)
And, i will do everything (within my means) to make what we have together,to last as long as possible. Yes, lets give it a long shot, hon. :)

Each Day Gets Better

Ooooohhh...

Where do we go who knows

But each day gets better

I just can't let her go(oooh, oh no)

Each kiss gets sweeter

I just can leave her no

I'll write a song

I thought about it for far to long

But I Never had someone to sing about

Until I meet her and each days get better

Nobody knows

Nobody sees

Nobody else understands me like she

Now there I Know what true love means

I Just hope she stays with me

Where do we go who knows

But each day gets better

I just can't let her go(oooh, oh no)

Each kiss gets sweeter

I just can leave her no
She Wants to breathe

She wants to be where the grass is green

She wants to know how love supposed to be

She wants it better

I want just let her know

She belongs right here with me

She's all that I make her see

I make her fall

Make her believe

I promised her that I never leave

And where do we go who knows

But each day gets better

I just can't let her go

(oooh, oh no)

Each kiss gets sweeter

I just can leave her no

Each kiss gets sweeter

I just can leave her no

I Just Had to write a song about her

Tell her I don't wanna leave without her

Tell her that I would build my world around her

Deeper and deeper

Sweeter and sweeter

I'll never leave her alone

And where do we go who knows

But each day gets betterI

just can't let her go

(oooh, oh no)

Each kiss gets sweeter

I just can leave her no

Each day gets better

I just can't let her go

Each day kiss gets sweeter

I just can't let her go

You know you are in "trouble" when romantic love songs are the first thing you wanna listen in the morning. Man, i know what Ellis meant by the mind is never asleep. The first image and feeling that you felt when you rose from up from your slumber. The first person that comes to your mind when you wake up. Heaving a sigh of disappointment when you realised that he/she is not beside you. (Please dont think dirty. This is all things nice.pure and innocent)

And, you will put yourself in the other party's shoes before you do something that may possibly hurt him/her. I dont know about you, but for this 2 months, i get to understand more of putting myself in the other party's perspective, as we grow together. I dont know if you get what i mean (maybe i dont even get it myself)

But i can safely and honestly say that my heart is claimed. :P

This is the conclusion after much pondering and wondering.

Balance. Edging.

It's not easy to balance all the relationships in one's life.
Family. Friends. Colleagues. Him.

I like having my life packed and surrounded by people.
But sometimes (if not most of the time), one circle of my life will complain about me not spending time with them. In fact, it will happen almost every week.

One fine example, I went out with Ellis last night after work. Man, we had a great time. Shopping for makeup and socks. Fluttering from shop to shop. And never stop talking from whatever that comes to our minds. Basically, its like verbal diarhoerra, which females love so much. (ok, that sounds gross)

Reached home at slightly after 10pm. (and i actually had macdonald's takeaways for my lil darlings.) But those 2 were asleep when im home. As i laid the mac on the table, my mom was like "If you wanna buy for others, you should have like come home earlier. If not why bother to buy. They still have school tml, you know." ... Oh Well. *Sighhhh...*

Her face darkened when i told her i may be watching a movie with my colleagues tonight. (28 weeks later!!!! :D)
She spat something like: "Why do you always think of yourself? Cant you spare a thought for the shop?"

Man, i have to work from Mon to Fri. (I think this is the most enjoyable part of my life. I can totally understand why some workaholics can practically live in their offices. Given a choice, i dont mind bringing my pillow to work if they allow me to do so)

Saturdays are private times for me and him. Trying to squeeze some time for my bevy of babes.

Sundays are the days to stay in the shop if i dont want my ears to be blasted 24/7 for the coming week. (Why cant you spare a thought for your family?!) *Groans..

So im left with evenings of Mon-Fri and Sat early mornings for myself. I think i need to have that dose Sat early mornings for my morning runs if i still wanna retain my sanity. And i think i need to spend at least 3 evenings at home, if im still interested in scoring brownie points with my folks. ( Sometimes, i really cant wait to have my own little adobe. Something cosy and efficient. Somewhere to rest my ears and mind)

At the same time, im trying to connect with my colleagues for an even more enjoyable working experience.

I love spending time with all circles of my life. Man, i cant do without them in fact. Sadly, it is only utmost enjoyed (by both parties) if i dont intersect the circles. Spending times with your loved ones. They are ALL my loved ones. How do i spend quality time with ALL of them?

I have a feeling i may just throw in the towel.

Hmmm.. woke up feeling rather pissed for dozing off so early. He tried to message me, while hiding under the blanket after lights out. That boy must have felt a bit disappointed for receiving no replies. Oh well. And he gonna spend the next 6 days at a field camp with no hp. Absolutely no contact with the outside world.

Its back to the Work out. Black clothes and No appetite. (actually not really, im currently munching on raisins as i type. thinking of my Hakka Niang Tou Fu again. Vege Brown Rice and Chilled Papayas. Yum!)

Well, life still goes on. And im so blessed with a bevy of sassy. sexy. smart babes for company.
:D Lotsa girly fun!!
Wonder if my agency tops up my bank account. Cos the little grey card will be having some exercise for the weekend!

Mother's Day coming. My mom has been hinting (not subtle :P) about this $160 slimming pills that she wants. Ooh, she insists its NOT slimming pills, its Clear-Your-Intestine Pills. Oh well, whatever that makes you happy, Mum. Gotta find Unity Outlets. Hiak, my mum even told me WHERE to buy it. This's damn funny. *Shrugs, gotta pamper the folks everytime i get my paycheck~ (And, this isnt the first time my mum wants slimming pills (sorry, Clear-Your-Tummy Pills)

Feel like sourcing out the famour Kambing Soup i saw on TV last night. Supposedly to be the most delicious in Singapore. Dad loves Kambing Soup, even though hes not supposed to eat it often cos of his high cholestrol. His tummy is perpetually 5months preggy. And hes like 51 this year. Hmm, but that old boy lurrrrves his mutton. Trying to recall the address of that stall. Was at the now defunct Old Kallang Leisure Centre. Shown on Food Places Lost and Found last night. Geylang? *think think think*

And, i still owe my lil bro a Japanese treat. Still gotta cajole this angsty chubby baby to go out with his big sis. Hiak, the one who is addicted to bloody angst-ridden raps, and refused to admit that hes a fan of Mr Bean and Stand Up comedians. Man, he can watch reruns of Youtube Stand Up Comedy Acts...EVERY day.

So much for saving for uni.

Better try to learn to think of wad i NEED, then wasting on what i WANT.

i so NEED some eyebrow makeup. :P

Felt sillily (is there such a word) happy today.

Decided to appeal for FASS.

In fact, im pretty keen on gettin in there now. (lets just cross our fingers that nothing will go wrong this time round.)

From what i understand, i get to dabble in several majors before selecting one for my major. Theres no need to fix on one major once i got in. As compared to NTU Socio.

Hmm, select 4 exposure modules excluding the one i wanna take as my major.
Sounds interesting.

1) Pol Sci
2) Socio

Hope i can successfully appeal into FASS.


That aside.

He made me really happy. *im literally grinning from ear to ear*
Just by a simple series of messages.

That silly boy actually woke up at like 4smth in the morning to write those!! (Gooodness! no wonder he keeps knocking his head on the wall that hes supposed to climb over. *shake head shake head*)

Hes getting into field camp tomorrow. 6 Days 5 Nights, meaning till coming Monday.
Boss said that field camps are like Hell Camps for recruits. Hope he survives well. *gulps.

It feels nice. warm and fuzzy to know that someone out there is thinking of you while you think about him/her from here. :)

Things are moving at a comfortable pace now. ---Strolling & Enjoying the scene.

Spent the whole of sat with him..

Just that, there's this topic in the conversations that makes me dwell further now.

A random question, What will you do i bitch-slap your ex for being so mean to you?
(i have no idea why i asked that too, like i said, its just something that popped into my head and i vomitted it out)

his answer was to stand between the both of us and stopped me from slapping her. Cos she has a pride too, and that shes really a nice girl. and he said she might like to keep wadeva that happened him and her private and over.

Well.

i feel like a petty dumb jealous violent bitch for asking that question.

And, i hate feeling that way about myself. Ugh.
(what's happening to me?!)


Man, although i would kill myself before i say it out, but.
* ** **** * *** ****** ** ******

as in he could actually hang around for the 2 whole YEARS.
for her.
goodness.
wow.

its always liddat.
Rage. Sadness. Nonchalance

Why am i so bugged by it?

The more i think about it, the more miserable i felt.
And the misery could just conjure a tornado in my tummy.
A choking feeling.

:(


MIND always branches out like a wild fire in the plains and burn everythin to the ground.
Darkened it to soot.

And, the most funny thing is, he didnt do anything wrong.

Sometimes, my heart really goes out to dudes. For being clueless about everything that goes through their girls' heads. Not knowing wad to do, till the missle struck.

*shake head shake head*

And, honestly, there's nothing he could do to make me feel better either.
Or at least, nothing that i myself know of.

Maybe Jade's right, sometimes, people could sabotage their own stable. happy relationships by thinking too much.

But. How NOT to think too much?

I'm making myself confused again.
Tunnelling down a quicksand.
Plain dumb way to end.

Not that i will want it to end.

And, i think we are about to proceed to a new milestone in the relationship.
(No, its nothing physical. :P hahhahha)
i told him to Save it till we meet face to face.
Which is like in 11 days time.

He really makes me really happy. settled.
Bringing out the genteel side of me that i kept under wraps.

Even tho he sucks big time at consolding others, (when i got my uni application results), hearing his cheery voice uplifts my spirits. :)

Hes the first one that came to my mind when i feel that i need someone to discuss something with. May it significant or trivial matters.

Trust.
Communication.
Understanding (in progress)
Romance.
(Passion)

I feel like both of us are picking up little bricks and building a foundation for something bigger and durable.

With the core being Communication.
Something that i feel is the most important factor of a loving relationship.
Observing the different relationships among the people around me, absence of healthy communication just erodes the connection.

And, honesty of course.
Telling each other anything that comes to our minds..
I will always rather having everything out in the open (may it painful or undesirable) trashing everything out to sort it proper and clean.
Glad thing he thinks the same too.

Building Understanding through Communication.
(i sound like a corny brochure for corporate networking)

Dashed

i didnt make it to NTU Biz.
( im gonna start eating beef already)

Got offered NTU Sociology and NUS Project and Facilities Mgt.

too dashed to think straight now.

The funny thing is, my first response of the application results, was "SHIT"

for both of them.

SHIT.

i feel like crap now.

Meeting ginny for some company.

Lunch with Colleagues

Had a jolly good time lunching with my colleagues. As my seat is like a cave in the office, (its nicknamed Penthouse by the office) i rarely get to interact with my other colleagues. This is actually the 2nd time i lunch with a group of colleagues other than with Liying, Boss and other heads of the departments.

Nic, Shane and Shirely.

Met Nic through Liying. Hiak, funny guy that one. Fellow beachbum too. Was asking him about remedies for my burnt skin (its peeling like an onion now, and i resembled some sci fi monster) Had a fine time chatting about movies. police force. he being an old man. and i looking like im 38 (wth?!) He's actually interested in Romeo and Juliet movie! Goodness, and i tot only girls watch that!! haha, he must be a girl underneath all those buff. Old Man.

Were discussing all 'bout driving licences (all 3 of them have it) and Shane being oddly shy n quiet when im around. Another joker. (he actually passed his driving test with his right leg injured! woah!) 1 year older than me, but looks like 16. and Shirley looks so pretty and shes fabulously nice! Man, aint i blessed with great colleagues!

Just damn happy im in such a fab place working!
Gosh!

jusmarie.vox.com

love this:

~~**~~
A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape ... but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything ... but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear...

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her ... but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone...

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future...
a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be God's blessings and capitalizes on them...

A strong woman walks sure footedly ... but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls...

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face ... but a woman of strength wears grace...

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey ... but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong...

felt so much better after a satisfying lunch of Hakka Niang Tou Fu @ Hong Lim. (*Lip smacking nice~)

my hamstrings ache from yesterday's evening sprints. Only managed to sprint 2 or 3 stretches before i noticed the sago seeds on the ground. Went happily picking up those cute little red seeds on the ground, and got my fingers all muddy. Gleefully present my fruits to Mummy after that. She has a soft spot and nice memories of picking up sago seeds with Dad. It was right after a morning of showers. Cloudy sky with breeze in your hair..Arhh..nice and soothing. So soothing that i just land my derriere on the inviting bench by trees of fragipani.

So much for "perfecting my body".. oh well~ heck... will run someday when i feel that im getting chubby again.

Ooh..Weekend Update.

Why do i always end up spending good money on lousy horror movies? I never get to frighten myself in the cinemas. Sickening. "Retribution" is a bloody comedy, complete with a long hair, pale face lady ghost in a red dress. Appearing at wierd spots, screaming her head off like a fire drill siren, and floating by. The funniest parts are when the ghost actually opened the door to let itself out of the house. (and we tot that they go through walls!) and when the ghost actuallly did a "Superman" flight off the balcony, complete with a one hand extension. Not to forget the part when she actually floats by the windows like a commercial ad. The whole theatre was visibly shaking with laughter by then.

Palawan on Sunday. Soaked in the waters for like 4-6 hours. Both of us got frightfully sunburnt after that. Realised that hes allergic to sunscreen! That dude is destined to be a lobster when we go beaching again. Gotta get shades the next time. Hope at least i got my backne dried out by the burn. That will be ONE Great consoldation for my skin peeling like an onion now. I resemble a huge slab of ham now. Thankfully, 10 days of morning exercise (my eyes havent opened when im exercising) has toned my abs to respectable contours. At least i wont be classified as a public eyesore when compared to the rest of the sunworshippers.

He tried planning for a date on Monday. Operative word: Tried. Original plan was to go this curry restaurant at Raffles Hotel Arcade. Couldnt find the restaurant. So much of planning and sense of direction. :) Ended up eating at this Turkish restaurant, Sofra's, at Shaw Towers at Bugis. Cosy ambience. Cosy comfortable food. Had a sweet cosy time feeding each other and making a mess out of the food. Elegant Eating. Not. Got bitten by a giant ant at the Merlion Park. They ought to sterilise that place!! :P

my lips are still cracking now. ought to remember to get some Vaseline from the shop later.

Worried about my NTU application.
Underneath all those gung-ho self-assurances and "no point worrying, wads gonna come will come"s, the insecurity of my future and dreams still bugged me to hell. Sure, of course i have been thinking of my contingency plans and alternative routes. But, it really sucks when you see your peers around you, achieving their dream courses, one by one. *Envy of others and disappointment of self.*
.
.
.
No point regretting on my lack of effort during the As. Its not that im gonna do it again. No way.
The only way is to move on. Man, i gotta Be Strong.

Even for the routes less travelled by others.

.
.i got in NUS Project and Facilities Mgt. It was my 2nd choice. Boss's advice was "Never Settle for the 2nd Best" And it all boils down to How much i want my 1st choice.

Will i be "dead" if i didnt get wad i want?
Hell no.

I will Survive.
Of course, i will.

Sickening, i want to go NTU business!!!!

Bang my head n get in.


This is something that i Really want.
Period.

I promise i will slog my ass off for 3 years if i get in.

Goal: Hospitality and Tourism. Climb the corporate ladder.
Mission: Find a Way to get there.
Objective: Life's Fufilment. Personal Satisfaction.
Project Description/ Contingency Plan
: 1. NTU BBA
: 2. Part Time Degree

Route 3: Proj n Fac. Mgt may not bring me where i wanna go in the future.
Sure, it will give me a rice bowl. No doubt in that. But will i benefit from this 4 years? Is this something that i really want? No. Or is my mind swayed by my boss's analysis?
If i have reservations before i even get in the course, wads gonna happen when i actually study the course? 4 years and 25K are too precious to lose. Honestly, i dont mind learning this course. But, im not too sure if this course matches with my career goals.

Goodness, should i go talk to Vivienne Chua?
Or maybe i should go find Mr Maideen.